Dogs wearing trousers, snakes walking upright

dog in pantsWe no longer pay for the Wisconsin State Journal. But we still keep vaguely in touch; it helps us remember why we stopped paying.

In the free copy handed out at Sentry on Sunday, we see that the WSJ editorial board was correct (!?!) (Editorial Type 2 – the Surprisingly Correct”™) when they said that voting districts should be fairly and impartially drawn.

Why… sit down, and really think about that. It’s TRUE! Well, sure, it’s intensely obvious. But this time Wisconsin’s independent voice™ at least has it RIGHT. Having a meaningful vote is a baseline requirement for democracy.

So when will that happen?

“It’s not gonna happen,” said Assembly Speaker Robin Vos, R-Rochester.

Ohhhhh, that’s right. The Republicans in charge of Wisconsin government are not going to do that. It’s one of the last things they’d care to do. The Wisconsin State Journal editorial board must be off on a little flight of fantasy, untethered from political reality. Will the dish run away with the spoon? They are, after all, 3 aging white men, and it’s possible they’ll continue to lose touch, imagining themselves in the olden days when Republicans weren’t what they’ve become now. It’s sad for the editorial board. And everyone, frankly. But back to reality.

The Republican legislature worked very deliberately to design Wisconsin’s weirdly shaped voting districts, and it’s working out nicely for them. Urging Republicans now to abandon their hard work and voluntarily do the right thing (because it’s the right thing for citizens???) might be described in many ways (hilarious, naive, dreamlike) but certainly not as “realistic”.

The State Journal could say that dogs should wear trousers, and that snakes should walk upright. But the dogs and snakes won’t do it, because it’s not in their nature. If they could talk, they’d say, “It’s not gonna happen.”